


Beating Hearts

by lavenderwinged



Category: UP10TION
Genre: Alternate Universe, Friendship, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-29 16:36:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11444787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderwinged/pseuds/lavenderwinged
Summary: Lee Sungjun has 10 years of unrequited feelings for one same person and a job he isn’t sure he wants. He learns more about life as he tries to sort through the mess that is his.





	Beating Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from a line in the song [Leave Your Lover](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=182TRJq9Zt8) by Sam Smith.

Last night Sungjun dreamed that he was running.

There was no monster chasing him. And it didn’t feel like he was running towards something to grab it before it disappeared either. He ran through the busy streets of a city, to its outskirt, where houses as well as people are sparse, then he’s on country road, passing by large grass fields, then he’s running alongside the sea, and then he’s in a city again, with traffic and people. No one got in his way. Not for once did he stop to breathe, his heart pumping too fast prompting him to keep going.

“…station,” the impersonal automatic announcement of his destination and the subsequent sliding open of the subway doors wake him up from his musings. Hurriedly he stands up. _Next time leave reflection for when you’re not on the train_ , Sungjun sighs and chastises himself as he pushes his skinny shoulders through the crowd inside the packed subway car, saying, “Excuse me” repeatedly till he luckily steps out just in time for “Stand clear of the closing doors, please.”

When he emerges from underground, the sun is shining a bit brighter, and the street is a little bit dryer, but there are still puddles here and there, remnants of last night’s rain. It doesn’t take long when Sungjun reaches the coffee shop, steps inside and is rewarded with the smell of good coffee filling his senses. 

He is taking a deep breath, enjoying the comforting smell when he almost trips over something on the floor.

“What are these?” he blurts out, grimacing. His voice came out quite a bit louder than intended in a coffee shop that is not at all crowded.

“Buckets!” shouts Gyujin from the counter in reply. Sungjun raises his gaze from the floor to see Gyujin behind the POS. The two queuing customers in front of him all turn their head and look at Sungjun.

“Yeah. But like really?” Sungjun says when it’s his turn. Behind him, drops of water make intermittent splashing sounds in the several buckets placed here and there on the floor.

“Apparently this house has a _threshold_ ,” Gyujin says, narrowing his eyes like he’s telling Sungjun a scary story. “Anyway what will you have for today? The usual?”

“Yeah,” Sungjun says. Gyujin is already writing on the paper cups. “Are you guys gonna fix it?”

Sungjun’s question is not yet registered when Changhyun appears next to the POS too, smiling wide as he wipes his wet hands on his apron. 

“Hey man, how are you this morning?” Changhyun asks, taking the cups from Gyujin’s hand. 

Sungjun tries to make his smile look as genuine as possible when he answers, “Good. How are you?” but he’s so busy doing that that he can’t hear Changhyun’s answer or anything else afterwards, going through the motions till he’s done taking his and Yein’s cups of coffee in his hands and says goodbye to them.

When Sungjun arrives at the office, Yein is already at his desk. “That’d be ok. We don’t have anything scheduled for the afternoon yet so you can bring the supplier over,” he says into the desk phone, nodding to Sungjun in place of hello. 

Sungjun hangs his blazer on the back of his chair before walking over to Yein, who has just finished the call. “I got you coffee,” he says.

“Thanks,” says Yein, holding the cup up to confirm the familiar smiling panda on the sleeve. He opens the lid, breathes in the steam and lets out a content “ahh.”“Always a treat to the senses,” he says. 

Changhyun is kind of a genius in this. Everyone Sungjun has seen has this exact same reaction when they have a chance to taste one of Changhyun’s creations. The man has a way with ingredients and brewing techniques, and combining things you never thought would go together into masterpieces. It’s a shame that Panda is not better known. 

“And you don’t look too happy today,” Yein asks Sungjun after taking a sip. 

“Well do I ever?” Sungjun says, and realizes immediately that he shouldn’t have, because Yein is taking a deep breath, preparing to launch into full counsellor mode. “Well I don’t think anyone is in the position to tell anyone to get over anyone,” he’s going to begin - Sungjun knows this speech by heart - “but…”

Luckily, uncle Kyungsoo pokes his head in at the door, then, seeing them both inside, walks in and hands each a bunch of folders. 

“Sungjun look these over, read notes from the legal department, see if these terms are ok. Yein approve these expenses. Try to be done with that before you go to the site today,” uncle Kyungsoo says.

Sungjun waits till uncle Kyungsoo is out the door to laugh out loud at Yein’s sneaky pout.

***

Sungjun does not have to get coffee from Panda every day – he’s not really crazy about coffee like some people are – but it’s just a nice thing to do. Panda is a moderate walk from the office, and Sungjun only needs to get off the subway one stop earlier. 

A big part of the money that Gyujin and Changhyun have saved after years of corporate slaving went into this coffee shop. Space is expensive these days. Getting a good (and it’s not even super good) location resulted in them not having enough left to rebuild the shop, to paint the walls with anything but beige, and to fill the space with anything but generic wooden furniture that makes it indistinguishable from every other coffee shop. Sungjun thinks this is probably why Panda is not better known. But while hoping for a better future for the shop, the least he can do is to drop by every day, buy two cups of coffee, and say words of encouragement.

Even though seeing them together always, without fail, results in his gut twisting anew.

Fortunately for him, so far Yein has been here to break his fall, giving unsolicited advices, or just distracting him with stories of other subjects. Moving into the same office means it’s easier to bounce ideas as well as balls of crumpled paper off each other but does not mean they have more time to talk. However, they always try to have lunch together on days when Sungjun does not have to meet with partners. And today Yein came back from the site just in time to meet with the potential supplier together early in the afternoon.

“Thank you very much. We will tell our technical team to look over the material and inform you of the result,” Yein says as they shake hands with the man. 

Long gone was the slight tint of nervousness in his tone that used to be there when he first took the chief operating officer position, reporting directly to Sungjun. But since when? Sungjun doesn’t remember. The only thing he knows as they sit down on the couch at the coffee table after having bid goodbye to the potential supplier at the elevator is –

“I actually can’t imagine my life without you,” Sungjun utters. He means it.

Yein immediately juts out his lips, unimpressed. “Please,” he says, eliciting a laugh from Sungjun. Sungjun knows that Yein means no harm. And this gesture only means Yein would not betray him ever.

“Last night I dreamed that I was running,” Sungjun says.

“And?” 

“There was no monster chasing me. And there’s nothing that I’m running towards. I just kept running, through cities, and fields, and along the coast – I just didn’t stop.”

Yein stops playing with the tag on the tea bag in his mug and takes out his phone.

“It means you’re either trapped, or need to live slower?” he says, holding up his phone to Sungjun’s face. On the screen is a website with a lot of floating stars. “Try taking a vacation? Clear your head? See what it is that is trapping you?”

Sungjun sighs. “You’re right let’s visit Hwanhee.”

“Vacation means you don’t work, Sungjun,” Yein says, narrowing his eyes.

But what is there to do -

“Let’s go out,” Yein says suddenly, cutting Sungjun’s train of thoughts. “You know what? Tonight. At the bar. A friend of mine has just moved to this city and he’s looking to have more friends. Maybe you guys will click.”

But then his face turns into an expression of horror. “Oh no,” he says. “Sooil is going to be there too. Are you guys cool?”

Sungjun and Sooil met through Yein, also at the bar. They went out several times, when Sooil asked Sungjun to. But after a month - Sungjun still remembers that night when they just came back from a contemporary art exhibition in which they had talked and laughed here and there just like normal - Sooil said firmly, “Sungjun. You’re really nice and witty but I feel that you’re not really present. So it’s probably not the right time.” And Sungjun agreed, easily and comfortably. And just like that, Sooil disappeared from Sungjun’s life like he had never been there.

“We’re not just cool we’re like, ice cold,” Sungjun says.

Because nothing began with Sooil let alone stopped. Because nobody stirred any emotion in him it’s like all the innocence and obsession he had he spent them all a long time ago. 

“Then good. Let’s meet at the bar,” Yein says and stands up.

***

Yein’s favorite bar is a favorite of Sungjun too (that is if he goes to bars – he doesn’t). Unlike other bars, the music here is classy jazz that is not too loud so they can actually hold a conversation. As expected, meeting Sooil is a breeze. They only nod to each other. It also helps that Sooil is here with a guy named Minsoo who hangs on to his arm at all time. 

“So when did this begin? How did you guys meet?” Yein asks in surprise.

“Two months ago,” Sooil says. “I was at an open mic. And this guy just freestyle rapped his way straight into my heart,” he says with a big smile and looks at Minsoo fondly.

“Was he really good?” Yein asks excitedly.

“Yeah I think so,” Sooil says, nodding enthusiastically. “Everybody was laughing.”

That is not how that’s supposed to work, is it? But Sooil and Minsoo look happy. And it’s all that matters. 

It seems that if you’re meant to be, it’s going to be really fast. Gyujin met Changhyun in junior year of college. Sungjun remembers lining up to try out the school’s newly opened library café, Gyujin on his side trying to convince him yet once more that the pastries here tasted like cardboard soaked in sugar water, when this guy standing nearby overheard them and added that the coffee, on the other hand, was actually hot water mixed with brown dyes and flavoring. 

“You guys are crazy,” Sungjun remembers exclaiming over breathless laughs as they pulled him out of the line he had been standing in for ten minutes. He didn’t know then that Gyujin would go ahead and miss some and then all of their movie nights, and not long after graduation Sungjun would receive a handwritten invitation to their wedding.

“Hello!” says the newcomer to their table. Yein stands up to pull the lanky guy into a hug. “Everyone, meet Daniel. Daniel, meet Sungjun, Sooil and Minsoo,” he then says. “Daniel and I went to college together. He’s also an engineer. He has just moved here this morning? (Daniel nods.) and still has energy to party with us tonight. (Everyone laughs.) Sungjun works with me at Weaver. Sooil met me at a conference. And Minsoo met Sooil at an open mic.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Sungjun says, shaking Daniel’s hand.

Daniel is really optimistic. It’s hard to stay that smiley after you spent half a day to find misplaced checked baggage, another two hours being lost as you tried to find the place you will stay in temporarily while looking for an apartment only to discover that it does not have hot water (“It’s almost summer. No need!”) Yein has said he would balance out Sungjun’s wet blanket attitude.

And Daniel keeps talking about a certain Jonghyun, who has big vision and a great personality, whom he has been freelancing for but now moved to this city in order to work full-time for.

Throughout the evening whenever his distracted gaze turns to Yein, who’s laughing away at Minsoo and Sooil’s anecdotes, Yein would look back at him and hold up a fist and smile to cheer Sungjun on in his quest for happiness. 

But that is not enough to keep the feeling of meaninglessness from creeping up and gradually devouring his heart. Citing tiredness, Sungjun stands up and bids goodbye to everyone, who returns him with sympathetic gazes.

His legs are dumb or something. He gets off the subway at the station near the coffee shop, then walks there only to see the sign having been turned to “close.” From across the street the big glass window looks like a picture framed with brown wood. In the background of yellow light, Gyujin (he recognizes because he still remembers what Gyujin was wearing this morning) is moving about putting the chairs and other things into their proper place. From the quiet of the street at night he can even hear the sound of cutlery, plates and mugs clinging together as Changhyun washes the dishes.

His legs are dumb or something. He stands there under the street light for a whole minute idly watching Gyujin’s moving shape before turning on his heels and heading home.

***

The word “scenic” must have been created solely to describe the last part of their journey from the headquarter to the regional office. They have all the windows rolled down and revel in the feel of the salty breeze from the sea on their skin. On Yein’s side is busy seafood restaurants while on Sungjun’s side is the sea stretching out as far as the sky goes, its blue expanse dotted with a few cargo ships on their way towards the port. Life seems so good here. If he were Hwanhee, Sungjun thinks, he would not even whine half as much.

“So I’ll pick you guys up in two hours as usual?” asks uncle Kim their company driver, as they approach their destination. At Sungjun’s affirmative answer, he pauses for a while before asking, “Have you two ever been here on holiday?”

“No,” they both say, shaking their heads.

“Then you can try at some point!” uncle Kim says, excited, gentle eyes meeting theirs in the rear-view mirror. “I went last summer with my family. We stayed at the new hotel that was built by none but our company! My wife and my kids loved it. Even my parents kept complimenting the hotel. And they never compliment anyone or anything!”

Blue sky, bluer sea, and yellow sunshine, added with uncle Kim’s story have helped lift Sungjun’s mood. They get off the car and bid a temporary goodbye to uncle Kim with big smiles on their face.

“Man, this office,” says Yein when they step into the new regional office, which occupies one whole floor of the office building, also built by Weaver. It seems like too much space, but Hwanhee insisted that that’s just enough, and chairman Lee only said, “Let’s see what this kid is up to.” after Hwanhee succeeded in raising the branch’s revenue by a half and doubling the profit only in the past two years.

“You should tell us when you’re going to visit so we can greet you better!” Hwanhee says, laughing in surprise as he emerges from around the corner next to the receptionist desk, arms stretching wide to welcome Sungjun and Yein.

That would defeat the purpose, Sungjun thinks as he also smiles wide in Hwanhee’s welcoming hug. But it’s only a matter of procedure. He knows that Hwanhee and the team never slack off.

Yein and Sungjun follow Hwanhee around as they pass by the spaces for business development, accounting, logistics, purchasing and administration - Hwanhee was even allowed to paint each room with a different colour – when they stop by a mini playroom, complete with a slide, a wooden table with colourful chairs and a tiny house. This is new.

“What do you think, boss?” says Hwanhee, giddy with excitement. “So the whole office pooled money together for this room and I must say this is the best investment we’ve ever made.”

Inside the entirety of business development is lining up to slide down the slide, only to climb up the stairs to slide down again, and one half of logistics are coloring with crayons at the table.

Yein immediately picks up crayons too. Sungjun takes a minute to process the strangeness of the situation before nodding. (What else can he do?)

“Oh, on a related note, there’s this thing I want to tell you,” Hwanhee says, hesitating a little bit. “I plan to travel to our headquarter next week to speak to you in person but since you’re here I’m saying it now. What do you think of a theme park?” 

A theme park?

“Lion Group is expanding to theme parks and I’m pretty sure that with the number of resorts that we have built for them we have earned enough of Jinwook’s trust to make him seriously consider us for their upcoming theme park. And if we win that project, we probably won’t have to worry about business for the next year.”

“The only thing is, we have never built a theme park before,” says Hwanhee, voice a little bit small. 

Jinwook’s resorts have done well with the public so far, so Sungjun can worry a little less about his vision. The theme park, if done right, would bring incredible gain to Weaver’s reputation. And such a project is the kind that you can point to your children and grandchildren and say that you did _that_. 

But it’s true that they have never done it before. ‘Right’ is the keyword here. What capacities are they going to have to develop anew just for this project, and is it sustainable?

“And some people have this preconception about me that I’m crazy,” Hwanhee continues, voice even smaller, glancing briefly at Yein (turns out Hwanhee is more perceptive that Sungjun thought), “so I’m afraid –“

“If it’s the voucher thing that I can assure you that we’re all on your side,” Sungjun says. “It's a great way to show that we have trust in the projects that we build. Of course, only up to a certain point, or else it’s just suicide.”

“Jisoo moved office because he doesn’t like it!” Hwanhee says, looking like he’s about to cry.

“For the last time Hwanhee, Jisoo moved office, not company, and he did that because his wife’s job requires them to relocate,” Sungjun almost screams to prove his point – Hwanhee looks terribly downtrodden. “And at headquarter he has nothing but good words to say about you!” 

Hwanhee nods in response but Sungjun is not really sure he’s convinced. “You know what?” says Sungjun. “Just make a plan, ok? Present it in the upcoming meeting and let the feedback come in. We’ll all think about it together. And if it’s actually crazy then we’ll just not do it. It’s fine. You have had great ideas but you don’t need to have great ideas all the time. That’s totally normal. We’re all like that.”

Yein and Sungjun spend an hour going from room to room to see how everyone’s doing. At the end of the workday, Hwanhee gathers everyone around for Sungjun’s mandatory visit speech.

“I can see that you have all settled into the office,” Sungjun says to his smiling audience – there are even a few new faces here. “Soonyoung, you’re great at colouring. If you get any better, we may have to move you to interior (cue a triumphant fist pump). Jeonghan, I saw you cutting the line at the slide. (cue one pout and several snickers). On a serious note though, I am really glad to see all of you here today. I am very proud of what you have achieved… Wow this is starting to sound like my office warming speech two months ago –“

“Repeat it boss. I’d love to hear it again!” says Seungcheol from purchasing. “You don’t compliment us enough.”

Everyone laughs. But Sungjun shakes his head with a small smile. “Anyway it’s great to see many old faces here. And welcome to the team our new additions. I hope that we will continue to work well together like we’ve always been doing. And let’s keep Building the Dream.”

Everyone claps. “On a serious note boss what are you doing afterwards?” asks Hwanhee.

“Me? I’m leaving. Uncle Kim is probably waiting for us outside.”

Hwanhee thinks for a second and frowns. “You should go to dinner with us!” 

“That’s right! You never go to dinner with us!” some of them add, apparently cementing Hwanhee’s resolution. The latter is hanging on to his arm and refusing to let go.

“Because the drive takes six hours, if I stay I will have to wait till tomorrow morning to leave,” Sungjun explains.

“But tomorrow is Saturday! You don’t have anything to do for the weekend, do you?”

It’s unfortunate when your employees read you like an open book. Sungjun has no life.

“It’s Friday night. Don’t y’all have to go to dates?” he tries to save himself.

“No!” they say in unison. Oh dear. Sungjun pouts. Yein is doubling over in laughter.

“Remember what’s important!” Sungjun chastises them. 

Tsk. These kids. Four years ago, when the regional office was just an idea, Sungjun found Hwanhee who’s unexpectedly ready to relocate. And then Hwanhee found Soonyoung, Chan, Seungkwan and Seokmin. Then everybody else came and stay, extending Sungjun’s incredible stroke of luck. Sungjun is eternally grateful. But besides work they should probably spend their time on other things too. 

“How about you, boss?” asks Seungkwan from accounting with enough sass for Sungjun to use for his whole life.

“But where will we stay for the night?” 

Hwanhee and Seungkwan grin widely. “Vouchers!” they say at the same time. Did they plan this together or something?

At their half cheering half nagging, Sungjun calls uncle Kim to say that they’re going to leave tomorrow morning instead.

***

Not just dinner, karaoke too. When they reach the hotel, it’s already past Sungjun’s normal bed time. Uncle Kim may already be sleeping in one of the rooms.

But Sungjun’s blood is still pumping and his hands still hurt as a remnant of the intense karaoke battle between Seungkwan and Seokmin (They didn’t trust the point system of the karaoke machine so they measure in terms of the loudness of the audience’s claps. Neither won. Imagine how much everyone’s hands hurt.)

The hotel actually looks nicer when there are people in there, something that one cannot appreciate if the only time one goes there is the opening ceremony. Some guests are at the counter. Courteous staff are doing their jobs. The interior feels luxurious but still warm and homey, making one feel relaxed. They’re in the elevator to go to their floor when Yein tugs at Sungjun’s arm.

“Since we’re here so late, let’s go to the sea!” Yein says.

So after leaving their backpacks and blazers in their rooms, and leaving their shoes in lockers, Sungjun leads Yein by his hand down the precarious steps from the resort to the beach. ("Are they steps? They look like one huge step! What do I do? I left my glasses in my backpack in my room already.") Some more steps and cool dry sand turns into wet sand, and then they’re close enough for gentle waves to push around their ankles.

Standing in front of the sea at night feels like standing inside a snow globe. The sky is like a black dome that extends to infinity, making you realise how small you are in the grand scheme of things.

“Whenever I have trouble, I go to the sea. It gives me perspective,” Yein says. “Now you have a dream you can’t find the meaning of. Maybe the sea will give you some perspective too.”

Sungjun digs his toes deeper into the sand. “Wow this is therapeutic. How come I don’t go to the sea more often?”

“The sea is always there and you never gave it a chance, right?” Yein says and chuckles. His clear laugh mixes with the background of crashing waves into a beautiful song. He stops and stands still to look far away into the starry skyline with dreamy eyes. It would be poetic if Sungjun didn’t know he’s as blind as a bat without his glasses. 

Sungjun bends down to pick up some sea water and hurls it at Yein, who tips backwards and squeezes his eyes shut at the sudden attack. “What the hell!” he shouts, angry but not for long because he has to retaliate immediately.

Afar there are dots of lights from squid fishing boats. On the whole beach there are no one but two dudes with their shirts untucked, suit pants rolled up to their knees, running along the tides, occasionally splashing sea water at each other and screaming into the void to release stress.

They come back into the hotel when the lifeguard calls at them, explaining that he wants to go to sleep. 

“Good night,” Sungjun says when they reach their respective rooms.

“Good night,” Yein replies. His eyes are already half closed. His hair, wet from seawater, sticks out in all directions. He languidly waves at Sungjun with both of his hands like a kid, which makes Sungjun chuckle.

Sungjun’s thoughts haven’t strayed for the whole day today, as busy work, different settings, and different activities keep him excited, but as he lies down in the hotel bed in the dark, looking at the ceiling, a familiar feeling surges in his heart.

It’s the feeling of lying in his bed at midnight, tired but wide-awake, looking at the ceiling. He had an early class the next day but he couldn’t sleep because Gyujin was not back yet. Would Gyujin leave in time for the last shuttle? 

Sungjun couldn’t decide which was worse, seeing Changhyun in their room, and scowling so hard inside his stomach hurt, or having Gyujin in Changhyun’s room, and staying up so late worrying, with the smell of dewy grass and the sound of a lonely cricket outside the window of their rural campus dorm room as his company, only to turn to face the wall next to his bed in a hurry when he heard the turning of the key. 

Then his heart would soften with reassurance when he saw from between his eyelids, heavy with exhaustion, the silhouette of Gyujin with familiar spiky hair against the background of light flooding in from the crack of their door. And it would break at the same time. And he would be sad about it. And he’s still sad about it.

“Remember what’s important,” his own advice this afternoon echoes in his head. 

Also coming back is the image of Yein and the gang sliding down the slide and laughing together. 

They linger long, and with them he falls asleep.

***

“No,” says uncle Kyungsoo.

“But it would boost employee morale!” Sungjun says, following after him, clutching his documents to his chest or else the wind produced by uncle Kyungsoo race walking from his office to the conference room is going to blow them all away. Why is uncle Kyungsoo so fast even though he’s old and short?

“A slide is a major investment and would need shareholders’ approval.”

“I vote yes!”

“I vote no. Jihoon would also vote no,” uncle Kyungsoo concludes as he opens the door into the conference room. Sungjun pouts but he knows it’s not going to work.

Inside, Hwanhee is waiting next to the projector screen. He’s walking around a small circle, looking at the ground, a telltale nervous gesture. Seungkwan is also here today manning the computer. The heads of the different apartments are one by one filing into the room.

This morning Sungjun didn’t go to the coffeeshop. Yein raised his eyebrows so high when Sungjun walked into their shared office, empty-handed. “The sea told me,” Sungjun said, to which Yein only gave a sturgeon face and nodded before going back to his work, making use of a few minutes before the meeting to read some of the reports handed to him. 

Sungjun, meanwhile, took his time to go to the conference room to see how Hwanhee and Seungkwan were doing. Turns out the regional office have been working to put together this plan for the past two weeks instead of waiting for Sungjun to say the word before starting on it. But instead of feeling hurt, Sungjun sees himself very content, as he expects no less from Hwanhee and the gang, who overtimed for an additional one hour a day and two whole Saturdays for this purpose. 

He did some small talk with them to help them loosen up a little bit, before spotting from the glass window of the conference room the chief finance officer put down the morning newspaper and pick up his notebook to go to the conference room, and sprinting out to greet the man and casually trying to push his slide agenda. (He failed.)

“Thank you everyone for being here,” Sungjun opens the meeting. “As stated in my email I would like you to ask all the questions you have and give your objective evaluations of this idea, not just in your area of expertise, but in all aspects. Now please welcome Hwanhee, our regional manager.”

“Thank you Sungjun. Thank you all. First of all I would like to begin with a little bit of introduction about this theme park project,” Hwanhee says. “And then we will discuss the handout, which is a very rough analysis of the cost and benefit to Weaver if we take it on.”

Hwanhee shouldn’t have been worried. He breezed through the presentation, and everyone gave constructive comments. At the end, they all agreed that the idea is worth considering more. All the departments will work to finish a detailed cost and benefit analysis in the next two weeks, and if it’s feasible, will get start right away on tender documents in order to submit to Lion Group.

“Hwanhee is crazy,” Yein says to Sungjun after everyone else has left the room. 

“In a good or bad way?”

Yein thinks for a second then says, “Good,” prompting a small smile from Sungjun. It seems that Yein has softened compared to the day he and Wooseok, their head of human resources, both violently retracted from the idea of accepting vouchers as part of payment.

“We need people like him. And we need people like you, Yein,” Sungjun says. “He’s going to take us flying, and you will keep us grounded.” 

“By the way, when everyone is done with the report, I need you to take a look at the whole thing and give the final verdict,” Sungjun adds. 

Yein is speechless for a second. “Huh?” he asks, confused.

“I would like you to take up more responsibilities, Yein. In case you will take my role later,” Sungjun continues.

Yein is silent. When they are safe inside their shared office, he looks at Sungjun with wide eyes full of panic.

“Sungjun, are you quitting?” he asks.

***

Sungjun lied.

But does he ever not?

All the honor classes, all the clubs, all the cram school classes in between which he only had time to gulf down the sandwiches his parents put together for him before they went to work in the morning, all the nights falling asleep at his desk in his childhood home, or camping in the library, all the As, all the case competition medals, all the titles and awards, for himself and for Weaver, have been done solely because he’s supposed to, because it’s a path already written out for him and he’s too lazy to explore something else, to want something else.

And why should he? The only time he ever wanted something, alas, look how that turned out.

Now he has decided to just be. Go somewhere and live a simple life, possibly one of those squid fishing boats, and maybe finally he will be free.

Chairman Lee didn’t ask for an explanation, only pausing a little before accepting Sungjun’s decision. Sungjun loves him, having considered him a role model since he was a child, but some things are just easier not explained, so he’s glad for the silence. Also fortunately, getting his dad to trust Yein was not very difficult. Five years ago Chairman Lee already saw something in Yein when he allowed Yein to rotate from function to function together with Sungjun.

Weaver has gotten into the final round of bidding for the theme park. Today Yein and Sungjun are going to travel to their regional office to prepare for the meeting tomorrow with Lion Group. Yein has been overseeing this process from the start, but title-wise Sungjun is still the CEO, and it is nice to give him some support in his first major deal.

These days Sungjun has more free time. He does not have to get up so early in the morning because he now gets off the subway at the correct station, which is only a few steps from the office. 

If he runs into Gyujin or Changhyun, or if he meets them on his own will later, he’ll just say that he was on a super long business trip, which is also what he said when he was unable to go to their wedding. 

It doesn’t mean that the coffee shop has disappeared completely from his life. A handful of commuters, whose face Sungjun has come to recognize, would get into the train at the station where he used to get out at, holding paper cups with the smiling panda on the sleeve. Sungjun still hopes Panda will become more popular, but a steady clientele is something to be happy about too.

Today, however, none of them is holding a Panda cup. 

“Were you there when it happened?” he hears one of the commuters say as she enters the subway car. “I only heard from the uncle at the antique shop next to Panda. When I got there this morning the only thing I saw was the close sign.” 

“No. I was not," the man walking next to her answers. "I think got there a minute before you did. I heard that it was really bad. Not a lot of blood. But his head and his back hit the ground. Changhyun is such a nice man.”

“Did they catch the driver?”

Sungjun’s legs are wobbly as he stands up from his seat. “Excuse me,” he says, his voice weak, as he pushes through the crowd to get out of the subway car. 

He runs straight to the coffee shop. The “close” sign stares at him from the door, confirming the emptiness of the unlit interior.

Gyujin picks up the phone after one ring. “Hello?” he says from the other end of the line. His voice sounds like he has a stuffy nose. It’s exactly what Sungjun fears. Car accident. Hospital. Unconcious. 

Sungjun calls Yein next. “I have an emergency,” he says, head numb. “I’ll take a day off today, tell uncle Kim you’re going without me.”

“Are you ok?” Yein asks, worried.

“Yes. I am ok. It’s not me. It’s Changhyun.”

(To be continued)


End file.
